The two previous posts have detailed seven of my red flags. I hope that these have inspired you to find red flags in your own thought patterns and behaviors. In this last post I’m detailing the last three red flags that take my focus away from God:
Isolating my problems
Distracting myself, not being able to sit in the quiet
Avoiding reading my bible
These last three red flags can be intertwined with one another. For myself two or all three behaviors will happen at once. That is why I chose to write about these three together in this post. Because they fall under the same root problems of “control and trust issues” some of the descriptions, relationship status’, or giving it up to God may sound the same.
Isolating my problems
Description: When I avoid my problems I smile too much. I can not sit still and I say yes to all opportunities to help others. I help other people by bringing them meals, I schedule too many playdates, and I volunteer for big projects. But inside I am not facing my personal and emotional problems. It is like a video game with my thoughts. When my problem comes up in my head I have to strategically jump and dodge by placing more thoughts in front of it. It is exhausting and I can not keep up the busy schedule forever.
Relationship status: I am very aware my peace is clearly gone in these times. This behavior can pull my focus away from God for weeks.
During these times I will isolate and pray to God in private for help while still holding on to everything within my control. The problems I am avoiding become larger in my head and my focus pulls completely away from him. I make it harder on myself prioritizing my control of a situation over trusting God to take care of me.
Giving it to God: When it all becomes too much, I will break down mentally and physically. These have been the hardest times in my life. They are also the times that have brought me closer to God when I finally give it all up to him. I reach out to trusted friends for prayer . Then I tell God “I have tried to do this all on my own, I am scared to know what life looks like when I give this completely to you. I ask for your strength and courage to admit I am powerless in this struggle, and I need you to take over.”
Distracting myself, not being able to sit in quiet
Description: During these times there is something deep within me that is unsettled. My subconscious can feel it, but my conscious mind wants to avoid it at all cost. I don’t know exactly what “it” is. This causes an irrational fear to take over my body when I try to sit in quiet. I turn on another podcast or show to tune out the fear. When I don’t have something distracting me I will become easily irritated. My attention span is short and I get the bare minimum done during the day. At night noise is needed to fall asleep. It doesn’t matter what I podcast or show I’m distracting myself with, it is taking me away from quiet time with God.
Relationship status: I feel closest to God in the times where I have nothing else distracting me. I can not fully experience God’s deep peace within me if I do not spend time with only him.
Giving it to God: When I muster the courage to talk with God, I give my fears up to him and ask him to reveal what I am avoiding. Not being able to sit in quiet is me willfully running the opposite way from a loving God. Normally finding time to be quiet with God can happen in solitude or while I’m completing tasks like laundry. But when I am at this point I am choosing to distract myself and give into my fear.
**This goes along with isolation of my problems, but at this point I am not aware of the problem I am running from. It also goes along with avoiding reading my bible, because reading my bible is sitting in quiet with God - the opposite of distracting myself.
Avoiding reading my bible
Description: This is when I am in complete despair and I can not physically bring myself to open my Bible. I feel defeated and I find myself staring off in the distance devoid of any thoughts. I loose gaps of time in these moments. I will reach out to my trusted friends letting them know that I am not doing okay but don’t have the capacity to talk about it. I sleep a lot. My body feels in shock and there is nothing I can do on my own to pull me out of this hole.
I avoid reading my bible in these times because I am afraid to know what God’s answer to my problem will be. My fear is centered around any one of these things: fear of change, fear of God humbling my heart, fear of admitting failure, or fear that God has let me down.
Relationship status: This is a direct threat to my relationship to God. Reading the Bible strengthens my relationship with him. God’s word is spoken through the Holy Spirit within me. That is why reading the same passage at different times in life can produce different aspects of God’s goodness, it is the Holy Spirit working within to give me what I need at that moment.
Giving it to God: By God’s grace alone, he gives me the courage to face whatever has triggered my strong emotions. I finally admit that I am in a bad place and give my distress up to God. I tell him: I can not do this on my own, I’m sorry for running away from him, I give him control and ask for his strength and courage to open my Bible and let his wisdom speak through the Holy Spirit.
These three Red Flags posts are not a comprehensive list, they are just my top 10. It is only through the hard work of introspection with God that these have been revealed to me.
I am sharing in hopes that you will take the time to let God into your whole life. This time of introspection with God will never be wasted, but it will feel like something is breaking inside of you. For me to be fully honest with God was hard, but the results are so so good!
I pray you will try to give something up to God today: a fear, resentment, control issue, people pleasing, worry, anxiety, anger, envy, jealously, hurt, anything that just came to your mind.
**ALSO, I have not mastered these red flags. To keep me humble God continually brings more red flags to light. He also continues to reveal over and over again the ones that keep tripping me up. God is so good, and his unique sense of humor in these hard times always makes me smile. I hope you find something to smile about too along your journey!-JJ